Breakfast in the Cloud with Chilyfinger

People who are rushing off to their worthy activities (mainly making other people rich) have lots of choices at breakfast time.

• Every channel has a "morning program" which will assure you that everything is fine and that you're important enough to have breakfast with a cute and funny person of the opposite sex.You will be able to enjoy the witty and flirtatious repartee of your avatar of the same sex.
• You will be informed about what is important today and what to think about it.
• All this will take place at a precisely predictable time. You will willingly submit to the illusion that you know these people and they'd somehow miss you if you didn't show up. "Real" people around you will be told to shut up while you watch the "news".
• Interleaved with all this infotainment will be helpful advice on what to do with all your spare money and how to borrow more if you are running low. This is as essential as your morning coffee to keep you motivated in the right direction. There's so much stuff you haven't bought yet!

Above all, you are relieved of any obligation to interact with the other busy people around you. There is no demand upon you for deliberation or opinion. If you are in any doubt, you will be told what you think depending on your unalterable political DNA (Under the American microscope, republican DNA is red, socialist DNA is blue or pink. Canadian microscopes operate on a different optical band width, requiring special corrective lenses for reliable observation. Black DNA is helpful to determine opinions of the owner on almost all subjects of importance).

The shocking state of the garden, your waste line and your bank account must be put to one side as you learn the latest news about Royal wedding plans, the body count in the war of the day and so forth. Your store of talking points is replenished to ensure that you will not be caught offside if the water cooler conversation turns to the latest outrage that Obama is (or is not) inflicting on America. Your back pack is stuffed with fresh reasons to advocate for whatever your DNA dictates you believe in. Nasty, complicated and difficult-t-remember facts are left out to leave space for fun-to-interpret photo ops.

I need not go on. If you're reading this blog, you know what I'm talking about.

Let me invite you to a perfect morning with myself, Chillyfinger, as I prepare to meet the day.

I'm up well before the alarm goes off at 7:30 because I have lots to do. Earning a living is not entirely irrelevant, but it's on my "to do" list with the same priority as getting an oil change for the car. I'm not at all concerned with the principal priority of my neighbors, which is making somebody else rich while avoiding personal bankruptcy.

Motivated by natural curiosity, I pull the "news" into my iPad. I'm not troubled by the fact that it's hard to tell what's really important by the size of the font and so forth. I'm interrupted by an important discussion with my wife about proper dishwasher packing to reduce glassware breakage.

To start, I run the BBC News App which gives me a 21st century newspaper with attractive graphic headlines and readable stories. It's not so different from a traditional newspaper that it scares me off, but the differences are huge. For one thing, I get to pick what to read about without too many clues about what I should be reading about. I get to chose from a menu of what's important to me. I may fall behind on my knowledge of Royal wedding plans, but what the heck.

I could have checked out any number of high quality apps that provide the same kind of service (for free!!) but I like a little predictability in my morning routine. I have lots of other choices for the "infotainment" portion of my news update. For example, the CBC has a fine app that I like to look in on when we're not in the fifth week of what Canadians call a "controversy". I similarly avoid the scandal of the day bubbling up from South of the border. Talking heads are not to be found around my breakfast table.

Having spent a few minutes with the BBC, I'm ready to get a serious dose of brain food. I like the NPR app, which gives me a chance to quickly craft an entire playlist of topics from the menu of the day. That list can go on playing as I go about my morning routine (I'll spare you the details of that). It's all "hands off" from that point and mostly audible, since I tend to wander around a lot from fridge to toaster etc.

At any point, I can press "pause" to discuss really important issues with Clair, such as the shocking negligence of our neighbors who allow their dog to bark all night. If something really important comes up, such as issues related to Christmas plans, I can shut the 'Pad off and come back to it later (or not).

Having been properly informed over a relaxed, delicious and nutritious breakfast, I am prepared to address the really important issues in my life which (surprisingly) rarely have anything to do with the "issues of the day". However, I'm fully armed and prepared if the grocery clerk wants to know what I think about, say, what the North Koreans are up to.

Sadly, this does not describe every single morning of my life, but I'm working on it.